I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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