..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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