that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
