Can Purell be used as lube?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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