I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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