yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
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i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
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Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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