its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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