What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
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