Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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