Where did you get a picture of my penis
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
