I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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