we made out on top of his cat.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize