My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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