dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i dont even know how to be here
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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