Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
