She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
