shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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