it hurts more in the daytime
so let's talk penis.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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