WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
