I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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