is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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