i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
