Soap is not a condiment
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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