hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
