We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
