Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
