Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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