reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
