Sponge bath it is.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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