I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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