I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
