You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
