let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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