I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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