her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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