I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
