can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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