If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
They are going to name an STD after you.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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