Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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