I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize