just survived the first fart of the relationship.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
