It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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