she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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