The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
