turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
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Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
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I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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