Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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