does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
