Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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