R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
