During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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