I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
