sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
