You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
