remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
