We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
