We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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