If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize