at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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