Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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